Mare Mitra Banvu Che - Book Summary

Here's a comprehensive summary of the Jain text "Mare Mitra Banvu che" by Ratnasundarsuri, based on the provided Gujarati excerpts:

This book, "Mare Mitra Banvu che" (I want to become a friend), by Ratnasundarsuri, offers profound spiritual guidance and practical advice for aspiring monks and spiritual seekers. It emphasizes a deep understanding of Jain principles and their application in daily spiritual practice. The core message revolves around cultivating a pure and dedicated spiritual life, leading towards liberation.

Here's a breakdown of the key themes and advice presented in the excerpts:

1. The Divine is Always Present and Aware:

God Hears Us: The text highlights that the divine hears every word, prayer, and even negative speech. Therefore, one should always think before speaking and strive to speak what is right and good.
God Sees Us: Similarly, God is always watching, both in public and private, in light or darkness. Actions, whether good or bad, are never hidden from the divine. The mind's tendency to act wrongly when unobserved is a delusion; divine observation is constant.

2. Extending Life Through Spiritual Practice:

Living in a Moment: While lifespan is measured in moments, the true "life" is lived through moments of spiritual practice like swadhyaya (study), tap (austerities), vaiyavach (service), jap (chanting), and dhyan (meditation). The goal is not to extend the lifespan but to enrich the moments of life.

3. Transformation of Nature and Character:

Changing Nature, Not Just Habit: The text distinguishes between changing swabhav (habit/tendency) and changing prakriti (nature/disposition). While worldly people change habits with time and circumstances, true monks must transform their fundamental nature. A change in behavior is superficial; a change in disposition and outlook is essential for monastic life.

4. The Paradox of Suffering and Wisdom:

Wisdom Brings Suffering: The analogy of a sane person in a mental hospital highlights that as one's attachment (moh) reduces, mental suffering (paritap) increases. However, this increased suffering from wisdom is preferable to the false happiness of ignorance.
Investing in Divine Wisdom: Just as a gardener's investment yields better returns when watering the entire garden, investing one's intellect in understanding the Lord's teachings yields the greatest benefits, making the entire spiritual life vibrant and pure.

5. Inner Cultivation and Purity:

Educating Intellect, Initiating Inner Self: Educating the intellect makes one knowledgeable, but initiating the inner self (antahkaran) imparts qualities like humility, simplicity, purity, and gratitude, leading to true greatness.
Balancing Study with Purity: While swadhyaya sharpens the intellect, it's crucial to ensure it doesn't compromise the purity of the inner self.

6. Happiness: Condition-Based vs. Virtue-Based:

True Happiness is Virtue-Based: Worldly happiness depends on favorable circumstances. True monastic happiness, however, should be based on virtues, not external conditions.
Friendship Through Forgiveness: To foster friendships, one must close their eyes to others' faults. The mind often rationalizes its own faults but judges others harshly.

7. The Nature of Service and Compassion:

Service Rooted in Compassion: Service (paropkar) is more closely linked to compassion than to accumulating merit. True monasticism is characterized by continuous service, not just outward appearances.

8. Overcoming Negative Tendencies:

Victory Over Bad Habits: Negative tendencies cannot be simply rejected; they must be conquered by understanding their true, often base, nature.
Perseverance in Practice: Consistent spiritual practice, like constant dripping water breaking stone, will ultimately break down negative karmas. Perseverance, faith, and patience are key, and self-observation is necessary to identify and rectify shortcomings.

9. Inner Transformation Over Mere Knowledge:

First "Fix" the Soul, Then "Know" It: The desire to "know" the soul grows with spiritual practice, but it's more crucial to "fix" or purify the soul first. Pursuing knowledge of the soul without addressing inherent faults like envy and ego is foolish.
Dealing with the Mind: Instead of fighting the mind, one should practice indifference. The mind, being conditioned by past habits, will naturally weaken and become harmless when ignored.

10. Self-Reliance and Divine Help:

Help Yourself to Receive Divine Help: To receive divine help, one must first help themselves by not acting on negative thoughts, not giving voice to anger, and not indulging desires.
Responsibility and Anger Management: If one cannot control their anger, they should avoid taking responsibility for others.

11. Tolerance and Diligence in Spiritual Life:

Tolerance Defines a Monk: While worldly people demonstrate their goodness through generosity, monks demonstrate theirs through tolerance. Monks should not be disturbed by unfavorable circumstances, people, or situations.
Avoiding Idleness: Monks should remain actively engaged in spiritual pursuits. Idleness creates an opening for negative influences to enter the mind.

12. Cultivating the Mind:

Nurture the Mind, Don't Weaken It: Instead of weakening the mind, it should be nurtured. The mind is essential for both worldly existence and liberation.
True Companions in the Afterlife: Only intimate relationships, cultivated with sincerity, will accompany one in the afterlife.

13. Listening to the Mind and the Heart:

Heed the Heart, Hear the Mind: The mind is often biased towards pleasure and against suffering, offering advice that is ultimately detrimental to the soul. The heart, however, is inclined towards what is beneficial and right. One should listen to the heart and be aware of the mind's advice.
Monastic Life is Closest to Liberation: While the Sarvarthasiddhi plane is geographically closest to liberation, a life of monastic practice is spiritually closest. The serenity on a monk's face reflects the bliss of liberated souls.

14. The Importance of Being an Example:

Being an Example, Not Just a Preacher: The true impact comes from being an example, not just preaching. A monk's actions should inspire rather than their words alone.
Cultivating Interest: While external obstacles (aavaran) can be strong, cultivating internal interest (ruchi) in spiritual practice is crucial. Interest can lead to ultimate liberation.

15. Right Faith as the Missing Element:

Right Faith is the Fuel: Even with extensive knowledge, conduct, and austerities, if one lacks samyak darshan (Right Faith), liberation remains distant. This is like a car with all parts but no fuel.

16. Accepting Faults and Responsibility:

Accepting Faults is a Sign of Progress: Accepting one's mistakes and not defending them is essential. As long as one is trying to defend their errors, becoming faultless is impossible.
Taking Responsibility for Misfortunes: Instead of complaining about misfortunes, one should accept them as opportunities for growth and strength.

17. Choosing the Right Attitude:

Attitude is a Choice: While external circumstances cannot always be chosen, one's attitude towards them is a conscious choice.
Avoiding Grumbling: Complaining about misfortunes only attracts more. Acceptance and "swallowing" difficulties leads to inner strength.

18. The Power of Changing the Mind:

Change the Mind, Change Yourself: Changing one's mindset and attitude is the best way to change oneself.

19. The Essence of Friendship:

Be a Friend, Not Just a Seeker: Instead of searching for friends, one should focus on becoming a friend. This process involves self-transformation and making oneself approachable.

20. Honesty with the Inner Self:

Don't Deceive Your Inner Self: The inner self, like seeds sown in darkness, will manifest its actions in the light. Hidden wrongdoings will eventually come to light.
Taking the First Step: The question is not whether the destination is far, but whether one has truly embarked on the path.

21. The Value of Community and Contribution:

Community Support: While liberation is an individual journey, the presence and support of the community are crucial.
Giving Freely: True love is characterized by giving without tiring, whereas taking can become exhausting.

22. Accepting Weakness and Discipline:

Admitting Weakness is Strength: Recognizing and admitting one's weaknesses is a form of strength that can lead to liberation from them.
Discipline Leads to Growth: Temporary discomfort from discipline and obedience leads to permanent spiritual development.

23. Happiness: Built on Virtues, Not Conditions:

Virtue-Based Happiness is Enduring: Happiness built on virtues is stable, while happiness based on favorable conditions is fleeting and can lead to downfall.
Disliking Faults: Faults, like unwelcome guests, will leave if one genuinely dislikes them. Instead of struggling against faults, cultivate a dislike for them.

24. Welcoming Virtues and Reflecting on Past Actions:

Embrace Virtues: Virtues are like welcome guests who stay permanently if cherished.
Reflecting on Past Karma: During times of suffering, reflect on past lives to understand the karmic causes. Just as we recall past noble deeds when considering the Lord's suffering, we should do the same for our own hardships.

25. Remembering the Present Moment:

Use the Present for Sadhana: During times of happiness, use the present moment wisely for spiritual practice, as favorable times are not permanent.
Don't Let Past Negativity Ruin the Future: Do not allow past negative experiences to spoil your present and future.

26. Hardships are Beneficial:

Suffering is Beneficial: The pain of removing a thorn is not pleasant but is ultimately beneficial. Similarly, the hardships of spiritual life, though unpleasant, are beneficial for the soul's progress and karma purification.
Maintain Wonder: To remain spiritually young, cultivate a sense of wonder towards the teachings and the spiritual path.

27. Freedom: Good vs. Bad:

Avoid Bad Freedom: Freedom to indulge in negligence, anger, or uncontrolled desires is detrimental and leads to further bondage.
Embrace Good Freedom: The freedom to engage in swadhyaya, austerities, devotion, and service is beneficial and leads to spiritual progress.

28. Vigilance in All Areas:

Vigilance in Conduct is Crucial: While vigilance in faith is important, neglecting vigilance in conduct can be fatal to one's spiritual progress.
Attachment to Material and Ritual: Be mindful of attachment to material substances, even in daily rituals. The true value lies in the bhava (inner feeling) behind the action.

29. Bringing Out the Good:

Nurturing Goodness: Treat the soul's inherent goodness like frozen ghee that needs a spark of good actions to melt and become active.
Avoiding Negative Influences: Keep away from negative influences that can melt and activate undesirable tendencies, just as frozen ghee should be kept away from fire.

30. The End of Effort is Death:

True Death is the End of Effort: While physical death is inevitable, the spiritual death is the cessation of sincere effort.
Balance of Knowledge and Inner Peace: A life needs both knowledge (light) and inner peace (upsham bhav, the wind) to be complete and respected.

31. The Harmony of Knowledge and Inner Peace:

Light and Wind Together: A life illuminated by Right Knowledge and refreshed by inner peace is truly commendable and worthy of imitation.

32. Understanding the Guru's Joy and Obeying Commands:

Strive to Understand the Guru's Joy: While understanding the Lord's commands is challenging, understanding the Guru's joy is achievable.
Live According to the Guru's Joy, Not Just Commands: The mind often prefers to follow its own desires while outwardly adhering to commands. True spiritual progress comes from living in accordance with the Guru's joy, which often involves sacrificing personal desires.

33. Purpose and Connection:

Be a Bridge, Not Just a Target: Instead of focusing on personal desires (the "target"), strive to be a "bridge" of compassion and friendship towards all beings.
Benevolence is Essential for Benefit: True benefit (hit) cannot be achieved without benevolence (het).

34. Guarding Against Ego:

Development Should Not Feed Ego: Progress in knowledge, austerities, or conduct should not lead to ego. Otherwise, one becomes imprisoned by their own development.
Letting Go of Memories: Just as ashes are immersed, letting go of past negative memories is crucial for maintaining a fresh and joyful spiritual life.

35. Acceptance of the Whole:

Accept Both the Desired and Undesired Aspects: When accepting a person, accept their flaws along with their virtues. Trying to accept only parts leads to negativity.
The Monk's True Happiness: A monk finds happiness in giving happiness to others.

36. The True Monk:

A Monk Doesn't Inflict Suffering: A monk never derives pleasure from causing suffering to others.
A Monk Doesn't Resent Others' Happiness: A monk does not feel sorrow or envy when others experience happiness or progress.

37. Empathy and Internalizing Suffering:

One Who Feels Others' Suffering: A monk is one who deeply feels the suffering of others. This empathy is a sign of true spiritual connection.
Beware of Ego's Fat: Just as physical fat can be a problem, ego (which resides in the mind) is far more detrimental, leading to a downfall.

38. The Importance of Feeling and Action:

Study Without Feeling is Fruitless: Studying scriptures is important, but it must be accompanied by heartfelt emotion and empathy. Otherwise, mere knowledge can lead to a worse spiritual state.
Don't Empower Negative Mental Outcomes: Avoid acting on negative mental states or giving them expression through words or actions.

39. The Divine as Path and Traveler:

The Lord is Both Path and Guide: In spiritual practice, one sees the Lord as the traveler. After attaining omniscience, the Lord becomes the path itself, the guide to liberation.
The Mind: The Key: The mind is a powerful tool that can either bind or liberate the soul. It's crucial to direct the mind towards spiritual goals.

40. What Not to Do is Crucial:

Knowing What to Avoid is Key: Knowing what to do is important, but knowing what not to do is even more crucial for avoiding faults and maintaining spiritual discipline.
Understanding vs. Assurance: Understanding that something is bad is different from having an assurance of it. Assurance comes from deep understanding and leads to true change.

41. Avoiding Provocation and Deception:

Take Responsibility for Your Suffering: Blaming others for difficulties hinders spiritual progress. One must take responsibility for their own suffering.
Don't Get Provoked, Don't Deceive: Remaining calm in adversity and avoiding deception towards elders or fellow monks is vital for a pure spiritual life.

42. True Devotion and Renunciation:

Marrying the Path and the Community: A seeker embraces not just the Guru but also the monastic community and its way of life.
Learning from Small Victories and Defeats: Avoid small victories that lead to greater defeats. Accept minor defeats that ultimately lead to greater spiritual gains.

43. The True Address of Relationships:

Right Relationships Lead to Liberation: The right understanding and cultivation of relationships can lead to spiritual liberation.
Unconditional Devotion: When cultivating spiritual relationships, avoid calculations or conditions.

44. Conditional Surrender and Time Management:

Unconditional Surrender: The mind often sets conditions for surrender. True surrender, like that of Chandarudracharya towards Mahavir Swami, transcends personal faults of the Guru.
Cherish Time and Relationships: Use time wisely and nurture relationships with love and sincerity, free from selfish motives.

45. The Joy of Remembering Dharma:

Joy in Remembering, Not Just Doing: Experience even greater joy in remembering past virtuous deeds than in performing them. Conversely, feel intense pain in remembering past sins.
Logic and Emotion: Balance logic with emotion in spiritual practice. Use intellect for understanding and emotion for experiencing devotion.

46. The Pitfalls of Excuses:

The Mind's Excuses: The intellect is adept at finding excuses for not fulfilling spiritual duties. This tendency hinders true progress.
Don't Hold Onto Bitterness: Holding onto past grievances causes constant suffering. Let go of bitterness to find peace and purity.

47. Pleasing the Guru vs. Keeping the Guru Pleased:

Actions Please, Attitude Keeps Pleased: While actions can please the Guru, a sincere and positive attitude truly keeps the Guru pleased.
Respect Boundaries: Uphold the respect for elders and the boundaries set by the Lord and the Guru. Violating these can lead to spiritual downfall.

48. Nurturing the Mind with Good Feelings:

The Mind's Direction is Key: The mind, like a leaf in the river, can be steered towards positive or negative ends. Ensure the mind is directed towards good feelings and spiritual practice.
Dependence on Dharma, Not Just Merit: True spiritual life should be supported by Dharma and virtues, not just favorable circumstances arising from past merits.

49. Avoiding Comfort and Supporting Others:

Comfort Creates Weak Standards: Gradually increasing comfort levels leads to a dependence on them and a dislike for simpler conditions.
Support Those on the Path: Offer your help and support to those who are diligently practicing their spiritual path, as your support can prevent them from faltering.

This summary covers the essential teachings from the provided excerpts, emphasizing the multifaceted approach to spiritual growth and monastic discipline advocated in "Mare Mitra Banvu che."