Jamaini Pariksha - Book Summary

Here's a comprehensive summary in English of the Jain text "Jamaini Pariksha" by Bechardas Doshi, based on the provided pages:

Book Title: Jamaini Pariksha (Examination of the Son-in-Law) Author: Bechardas Doshi Publisher: Z_Sangiti_004849.pdf Catalog Link: https://jainqq.org/explore/249425/1

This text, presented as a story, delves into the age-old concern of parents, particularly mothers, in finding a suitable match for their daughters. It highlights the shift from times when marriage was less regulated and the anxiety of finding a groom wasn't as pronounced. With the introduction of marriage regulations, and especially when parents take on the responsibility of finding a groom, this anxiety intensifies.

The narrative centers on a Brahmin man named Devasharma and his wife Sudha, who have three daughters. After marrying off their daughters to respectable families, Sudha is concerned about how their husbands will treat them. She believes that understanding the sons-in-law's nature from the outset is crucial for ensuring her daughters' marital happiness. She feels that the usual advice given to daughters at the time of marriage, such as serving their husbands, pleasing them, behaving well with in-laws, treating co-wives as sisters, and getting along with other relatives and neighbors, might not be enough if the husband's fundamental disposition towards the wife is not known. The emotional turmoil of sending a daughter, raised like a delicate flower, into an unknown household, is also emphasized.

Driven by this desire to gauge her sons-in-law's temperament – whether they are easily angered, fond of flattery, irritable, or devoted to their wives – Sudha devises an unconventional and rather drastic test. She instructs each of her daughters to, upon their first intimate encounter with their husband, deliver a firm kick to his head. They are then to report back the husband's reaction and subsequent behavior. Sudha believes that this extreme measure, implemented at a moment of initial intimacy and excitement, will reveal the true nature of the sons-in-law, providing insight into their entire life's conduct.

The Daughters' Experiences and Sudha's Interpretations:

Eldest Daughter: She reports that after kicking her husband, he not only didn't get angry but became incredibly solicitous. He expressed concern for her well-being, asking if she was in pain or facing any inconvenience that led her to such an action. He even fretted about her delicate feet being hurt by his head. He interpreted her action as an extreme display of love, believing no one would act that way without immense affection. Sudha, upon hearing this, predicts a future of unparalleled love, devotion, and dominance for her daughter, where her every wish will be fulfilled without question.
Middle Daughter: She recounts kicking her husband, who nearly fell but then got slightly annoyed before immediately turning to flattery. Sudha interprets this as a husband who will get mildly displeased with his wife's displeasing words but will quickly become subservient again. She advises her daughter to tolerate his occasional anger, assuring her that she has no other fear and can live a comfortable life.
Youngest Daughter: Her experience is starkly different and shocks Sudha. The youngest daughter describes her husband arriving in a festive mood, with perfume and a flower-laden bed. However, when she delivered the kick, he was stunned. Recovering, he became furious, verbally abused her, and brought a strong rope. He tied her to a pillar and gave her a hundred lashes with a whip. Crying and in pain, she tells her mother that her life was almost lost and her back is swollen. He then kicked her out of the house, threatening to break her legs if she ever returned and questioning her parentage.

Sudha's Intervention and the Sons-in-Law's Responses:

When the youngest daughter's husband arrives, Sudha, angered, confronts him. She attempts to defend her daughter by claiming it's their family custom for the wife to kick her husband to ensure marital fortune, and that her daughter was merely upholding this tradition. She questions his harsh reaction to a "flower-like" girl.

The son-in-law, however, provides a sharp retort. He claims that their family custom is for the wife to be tied to a pillar and whipped a hundred times upon arriving, as this ensures her fortune. He points out that he only gave her exactly one hundred lashes and didn't touch her further, thus fulfilling his familial duty and ensuring her prosperity. He asserts that he had no choice but to uphold his tradition, just as she had hers.

Sudha's Final Advice:

Stunned and defeated, Sudha realizes the gravity of her advice. She pleads with the son-in-law to take care of her daughter and promises to send her back. Upon her return, she sternly advises her youngest daughter to become a complete servant to her husband, never to displease him, and to agree with everything he says, even if he calls night day. She warns her that a single misstep will lead to her expulsion. Sudha emphasizes that to live happily, she must behave like a devotee in a temple towards her husband at home, or she will not be favored and will be cast out. She advises her to be prudent and careful.

In essence, "Jamaini Pariksha" uses a dramatic story to illustrate the extreme measures parents might consider to ensure their daughters' marital well-being. It also highlights how differing cultural customs and individual temperaments can lead to vastly different outcomes in marriage, and how a seemingly bold action can be met with equally strong or even harsher traditional responses. The story serves as a cautionary tale about the potential consequences of unconventional methods in understanding and navigating marital relationships.