Haiya Ni Vat

This Jain text, titled "Haiya Ni Vat" by Ratnasundarsuri, is a collection of dialogues and advice presented in a question-and-answer format between a spiritual leader (Maharaj Saheb) and various individuals facing dilemmas in their lives, primarily young women. The text addresses social, personal, and ethical issues from a Jain perspective, emphasizing self-control, morality, and spiritual well-being.

Here's a summary of the key themes and advice presented across the pages:

Page 1-2: Parental Restrictions and Youthful Desires

• The Problem: A young woman named Shraddha feels her parents are holding her back from enjoying life. They restrict her clothing choices, going out with friends, and interacting freely with young men. She feels a sense of rebellion.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb validates her feelings but explains that parents impose restrictions out of love and concern for their child's well-being. He likens it to how parents guide a child away from danger, even if it means limiting certain activities. He emphasizes that youthful desires for pleasure can be blinding, like a pigeon unaware of a trapper's net. He advises Shraddha to reconsider her perception of her parents, as they have nurtured her for 20 years and would not want to harm her happiness.

Page 2-3: Modesty and Self-Protection

• The Problem: Vandana feels unfairly controlled regarding her attire, especially compared to her brother. She desires freedom to dress attractively.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb addresses the desire for attraction, questioning Vandana's underlying intention. He uses analogies: open curd attracts crows, open wealth attracts thieves, and thus, revealing beauty attracts lustful individuals. He explains that men protect their wealth, and women should protect their beauty. He warns against the current era being driven by lust and advises caution against overly revealing clothing in public spaces, emphasizing that safety lies in modesty.

Page 3-4: Navigating New Friendships and Societal Dangers

• The Problem: Ruchi, a college student, enjoys the company of male friends who flatter her. She questions if she is heading down the wrong path.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb highlights the deceptive nature of shallow affection. He compares it to attractive packaging with a wrong address, leading to a destination of ruin. He stresses that while a woman's emotions are pure, choosing the wrong recipient can lead to immense regret, which tears cannot mend. He cautions Ruchi that youthful attraction can be superficial and often driven by physical desires, comparing it to the temptation of the first bite of a sweet leading to more. He advises her to be wary of such attractions and to trust her inner conscience.

Page 4-5: Understanding Male Deception and Maintaining Boundaries

• The Problem: Dhriti is confused about why women are often deceived by men. She has personally experienced negative encounters with young men.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb explains that men's lives are often driven by intellect and ambition, which can lead to deceit, while women's lives are guided by emotions and surrender. He states that men often seek women's bodies, while women offer their bodies for love. Once the physical goal is achieved, men can become indifferent. He emphasizes that while not all men are deceitful and not all women are naive, the number of women who are deceived is significantly higher. He reiterates the importance of maintaining a safe distance in interactions with the opposite sex, likening it to wax staying safe from fire. He warns against unnecessary intimacy in this age of liberalization.

Page 5-6: Gender-Based Restrictions and the Purpose of Control

• The Problem: Darshana questions why women face more restrictions than men, feeling it's unfair.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb explains that restrictions are placed on women due to their inherent vulnerability to certain dangers, drawing parallels to how vulnerable elements need protection. He uses the analogy of a poor youth not being robbed, but a woman traveling alone at night can be a victim of assault. He clarifies that while men also need self-control, the physical risks faced by women necessitate greater caution. He then broadens the discussion on controls, arguing that controls are not inherently bad but essential for safety and development, citing examples of rivers needing banks, jewelry needing a safe, and even countries needing constitutions. He supports "balanced controls" that foster growth but not those that stifle it.

Page 6-7: College Environment and Maintaining Purity

• The Problem: Virati, an 18-year-old college student, is drawn to the glamorous college environment but fears losing her values and upbringing.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb compares youth to a spark that can be extinguished by a small breeze or ignite a massive fire with fuel. He likens the college environment to a strong storm that can engulf and destroy one's values. He highlights that environments conducive to vice (solitude, darkness, excessive familiarity) are abundant in colleges. He uses the analogy of an accident caused by one driver affecting another, suggesting that even good intentions can be jeopardized by the environment. He advises Virati to avoid tempting situations, solitude with the opposite sex, and anything that might compromise her character.

Page 7-8: Parental Concerns and Trust

• The Problem: Aastha feels her parents' increasing interventions in her life are due to doubt about her character, causing her resentment.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb states that Aastha's age is indeed a time of concern and doubt. He explains that in this era of rampant sensual indulgence, parents naturally worry about their young daughters' purity. He reassures her that parental concern and even suspicion are signs of love and not a lack of trust. He uses the analogy of a gardener's worry about water flowing into a drain to explain parental anxieties. He urges Aastha to value her parents' concern, as many parents have become indifferent to their children's well-being.

Page 8-9: Balancing Career and Family Life

• The Problem: Shruthi, a newly married woman with a good job, is conflicted about continuing her career after marriage, as her parents expect her to focus on homemaking.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb acknowledges this dilemma faced by many young women. He advises that if the husband's family is well-off and joint, continuing a career might not be ideal. He distinguishes between the intellect required for career success and the emotional heart needed for family life. He cautions that trying to excel in both might lead to compromise in one or the other, potentially causing marital strife. He stresses that maintaining a happy home requires emotional investment and commitment, questioning if Shruthi can balance professional stress with family responsibilities. He emphasizes that transforming a house into a home requires giving one's heart.

Page 9-10: The Display of Beauty and its Consequences

• The Problem: Angi questions why women should hide their beauty when men display their wealth, arguing that beauty is a natural gift.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb differentiates between wealth, which circulates and benefits society, and beauty, which is meant to be protected. He states that while wealth can be lost and regained, the violation of beauty can lead to irreparable harm and emotional distress. He highlights that men protect their wealth and advises women to protect their beauty with similar caution. He warns that displaying beauty provocatively attracts unwanted attention and can lead to exploitation. He uses analogies of flowers and sugarcane to illustrate that while beauty attracts, it also makes one vulnerable.

Page 10-11: The Security of Joint Families

• The Problem: Priyanka, who believes in self-control and purity, is contemplating marriage and is undecided whether to choose a partner from a joint or nuclear family.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb explains that while joint families may have inconveniences, they offer greater security and self-control, especially for young women. Nuclear families offer more comforts but also increase the risk of uncontrolled behavior and potential danger. He shares his own experience of finding security and purity in larger monastic communities compared to smaller ones. He lists the benefits of joint families, including protection from unsolicited advances, controlled media consumption, and a greater sense of responsibility towards family members.

Page 11-12: Peer Pressure and Maintaining Character

• The Problem: Sudha is being pressured by her college friends to indulge in youthful pleasures, leading to feelings of inferiority for not participating.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb uses the analogy of milk, explaining that its transformation depends on what is added to it. Similarly, he asks Sudha to evaluate the "taste" of her friends' suggestions. He warns that engaging in such activities is like adding acid to milk, turning it into something unusable. He cites alarming statistics about premarital sexual activities and drug use among students. He strongly advises Sudha to distance herself from such friends and influences, even if it means being perceived differently, to protect her character.

Page 12-13: Legalizing Relationships and Moral Decay

• The Problem: Puja, a law student, questions a new law that permits legal relationships at a young age, asking for guidance.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb contrasts the strength gained from overcoming hardship with the potential for moral decay from early indulgence. He questions if anyone would accept their daughter engaging in such relationships. He urges Puja to trust her conscience, even if laws or societal norms permit something. He strongly criticizes the law, calling it a "demon of desire" rather than "Kamdev" (the god of love), and implores her to work towards its repeal if she becomes a lawyer. He states that while pre-match net practice is acceptable, illicit relationships are not.

Page 13-14: The Pervasiveness of Exploitation

• The Problem: Krupa observes that despite women's advancements, male exploitation continues. She questions if this mindset will ever change.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb believes that unless women prioritize their "inner nature" over mere "freedom," exploitation will persist, regardless of their achievements. He argues that society views women as objects for consumption rather than individuals for worship, evident in advertising. He points out that women, often portrayed scantily clad, are used to promote products. He laments that this objectification extends to exploitation in workplaces and educational institutions, affecting even poor women. He expresses sadness that women themselves seem to be embracing this path of self-destruction.

Page 14-15: Societal Roles and Natural Order

• The Problem: Nidhi feels that society places women in an inferior position to men and advocates for women to challenge this dominance.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb uses the analogy of the head and feet in the body. Just as each has a different function, men and women have different roles in society. He states that the head is for planning, and the feet are for execution. He argues that men may represent the "planning" aspect (e.g., financial provision) and women the "execution" (e.g., nurturing the home). He warns against women trying to replicate men's roles, likening it to a crow trying to imitate a swan's walk and losing its own natural gait. He suggests that women stepping out of their traditional roles have lost their domestic authority. He emphasizes harmony between the sexes, not confrontation.

Page 15-16: The Cruelty of Abortion

• The Problem: Sangita, married for a year and enjoying her life, is considering abortion due to the responsibility of raising a child, despite her conscience opposing it.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb is shocked by Sangita's thought process, calling it the "voice of a witch." He compares it to a mother harming her own child. He questions how a woman who would never harm a tiny insect could consider ending her own child's life for the sake of pleasure. He describes abortion as a cruel act that turns a "jewel-filled womb" into a "poisonous one," comparing it to unnatural occurrences like the moon spewing fire. He questions her morality and urges her to abandon this dangerous thought.

Page 16-17: Maintaining Boundaries with the Opposite Sex

• The Problem: Rinal questions why women must constantly fear and distance themselves from men, asking if interaction is even possible.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb acknowledges that both men and women have familial roles. He stresses that maintaining a safe distance between men and women is crucial for preserving purity. He advises young women to think twice before becoming too close to men, even those without blood relations. He states that while love might begin innocently, it can easily escalate into lust. He warns against mistaking physical attraction for true love and against trusting men whose words preach love but whose hearts are driven by lust. He advises vigilance against such influences.

Page 17-18: The Dangers of Beauty Pageants

• The Problem: Vidhi, proud of her beauty and encouraged by friends, wants to participate in a beauty pageant, hoping for fame.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb likens beauty pageants to a sugarcane ready to be harvested. He warns that such events often celebrate immodesty and the exploitation of women's bodies. He questions Vidhi's desire to turn her beauty into a commodity and her willingness to degrade herself for fame. He asks if she is prepared for her future child to question her past choices. He uses the analogy of a flower being plucked and exploited, urging Vidhi to avoid such competitions.

Page 19-20: The Allure of Jeans and Modern Fashion

• The Problem: Hina likes wearing jeans, finding it empowering and attention-grabbing, and wonders if this is problematic.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb shares an anecdote about a man who felt tempted to assault his sister when she wore jeans. He questions Hina about her intentions behind wearing jeans, suggesting it might stem from a desire for validation or to attract men. He points out that men don't wear women's attire, questioning why women should wear men's. He dismisses the idea of using fashion to trap men, stating that while lions don't hunt after a full meal, exploiters always seek new prey. He advises women to dress in a way that doesn't invite inappropriate attention.

Page 20-21: Internet, Television, and Addiction

• The Problem: Dhara enjoys spending time on the internet and watching TV, but fears these habits are harmful.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb likens these habits to a batsman straying from the crease, risking their wicket. He warns that the internet and TV are conduits for vulgarity and can lead to the erosion of character and values. He highlights the prevalence of inappropriate content and the addictive nature of these mediums, especially for young people. He advises Dhara to limit her consumption, avoid explicit content, and at least ensure her viewing is family-friendly.

Page 21-22: Imbalance of Restrictions and Female Vulnerability

• The Problem: Bhavana questions the societal imbalance of restrictions placed on women compared to men, asking why women bear the sole responsibility for preserving chastity and character.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb explains this imbalance stems from women's inherent vulnerability. He states that while men are strong and aggressive, women are attractive and delicate. He acknowledges that men have historically exploited women's physical vulnerability, while women have largely protected themselves from men's aggression. He uses the analogy of a fence around a garden protecting flowers, arguing that these "controls" are for women's benefit, not a punishment. He encourages Bhavana to cultivate foresight and uphold her values.

Page 22-23: The Temptation of Modeling and True Happiness

• The Problem: Sadhana, with a beautiful voice and face, is considering a career in modeling, hoping for wealth and fame.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb questions Sadhana's definition of happiness and well-being, pointing out that while she knows what brings her pleasure, she may not understand what is truly beneficial. He warns that the modeling industry often caters to lustful desires. He questions her ambition and her willingness to potentially compromise her character and future family life. He emphasizes the importance of a mother's good character when choosing a daughter-in-law and wonders where Sadhana's desires originate if her mother is virtuous.

Page 23-24: Economic Hardship and Career Choices

• The Problem: Mani needs to work due to financial difficulties but is concerned about her father's opinion that young women shouldn't work.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb differentiates between hardships faced due to "luxuries," "conveniences," and "necessities." He advises that if the hardship is related to luxury, working is unnecessary. If it's about convenience, adjustments in spending or family support should be explored. However, if it's a genuine necessity, he strongly advises choosing a job that doesn't compromise her character and values, emphasizing that while wealth can be lost and regained, character is irreplaceable.

Page 24-25: Counteracting Negative Influences on Children

• The Problem: Trupti, living in a well-equipped home with ample free time, is concerned that her children are becoming addicted to TV, the internet, and websites, fearing for their future.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb points out that Trupti herself is spending significant time on these mediums, making her own behavior a poor example. He states that while modern tools can save time, they can also be used for destructive purposes, especially by the youth. He emphasizes that instead of lecturing her children, Trupti needs to set a positive example and control her own usage. She needs to ensure her actions and choices are pure and beneficial, rather than leading to mental contamination.

Page 25-26: Understanding the Root of Negative Desires

• The Problem: Diya, blessed with good parents, has received excellent upbringing, love, time, and resources, yet she is still drawn to "wrong paths" like provocative dressing, roaming with men, and engaging in worldly pleasures. She seeks the reason behind these desires.
• The Advice: The Maharaj Saheb identifies the "environment" as the primary reason. He describes the current college environment as one that promotes promiscuity, alcohol, drugs, and a disregard for shame and morality. He acknowledges that not all students are bad, but the pervasive negative influences are undeniable. He advises Diya to avoid negative environments, friends, and literature, believing this will help her overcome her internal desires.

In essence, "Haiya Ni Vat" serves as a moral guide, advising individuals, particularly young women, to navigate life's challenges with wisdom, self-control, and a strong adherence to ethical principles, emphasizing the importance of righteous conduct and spiritual well-being over fleeting worldly pleasures.